


An Abundance of Tylers

by NoFlowzakBozak



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Dallas Stars, M/M, Offseason Shenanigans, Philadelphia Flyers, Road Trippin', San Jose Sharks, Toronto Maple Leafs, Tyler tension, abuse of nicknames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2017-12-30 07:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoFlowzakBozak/pseuds/NoFlowzakBozak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Searching 'Tyler' on the NHL website brings up 12,118 results, 79 of which are players.<br/>Certain ones are going on a road trip, simply because they're bored. Shit happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tyler at my Door

**Author's Note:**

> I love this friendship thing I've created for Bozie and Segs, they're so fun to write. Maybe overuse them a little. J'men calice.  
> Massive credit to sammieerose (tumblr user) who is the sole reason I was able to navigate Ontario <3<3

Bozie's obnoxious ringtone startled him. He shifted under his warm bedsheets, unwinding an arm from Phil, and reached over grumpily to see who was calling at such an ungodly hour. The bright phone screen blinded him. He squinted, a photo of Tyler Seguin's famous tongue coming into focus and blinding him again. Bozie hesitantly answered it, deciding that it was either important or Segs was just really pissed, probably the latter. Whatever, drunk Segs was entertaining.

"You know I don’t like you, right?" Bozie said sleepily, yawning and scrubbing at his eyes.

"Then why do you keep my number?" Huh, that was a surprisingly comprehensive response for a suspected drunk Segs.

It was too early for Segs' shit. "Get to the point. What the fuck do you want?"

"Brozie…" Segs whined. Warning bells went off in Bozie's head. Segs only called him that when he wanted something. "I'm bored. Not playing hockey."

"Go fuck your boyfriend." Bozie could almost _see_ the scowl on Segs' face. He grinned.

"I have an idea."

Bozie groaned. That _always_ ended badly. "Whaaaaaat..?"

"Seeya in a few!" Segs hung up.

'A few what?' drifted through Bozie's head. He mentally shrugged and rolled over and tucked his arm back around Phil. Phil's muffled voice drifted up.

"What was that all about?"

Bozie nuzzled into the back of Phil's neck. "Nothing. Just Segs being an idiot. Go back to sleep." Phil complied.

 

Bozie was woken a few hours later, _again,_ this time by Stella barking her 'intruder' bark. At least there was light out now. He rolled out of bed, stumbled down the hallway and to the front door where Stella was going nuts.

"What's up, girl? More blondes come to get my number?" He grinned, patting Stella's head. She sat, looking happily up at him, tongue dangling out of her mouth. The doorbell rang, followed by a series of aggressive, impatient knocks and the handle rattling. Bozie got a little concerned. That didn’t sound like puck bunnies. He looked through the peep hole. A brown eye looked back at him, apparently trying to look back through the peep hole at him. The eye backed away. It was Segs. Bozie groaned. Not this bastard. What the hell was he doing on Bozie's front step? He remembered the phone conversation from earlier. 'See you in a few.' He opened the door, getting hit by a blast of cold air. Segs' voice assaulted his ears.

"Dude. I told you I was coming. You going like that?"

Bozie looked down, realised he was wearing boxers, and shrugged. "What the hell is wrong with you? Wait, going where?"

Segs jerked a thumb behind him. An RV sat in the driveway, Tyler Brown climbing out of the driver's seat. Bozie felt some small relief. At least Segs wasn't driving. Brownie waved.

"Get your shit. We're going on a road trip."

 

**> >=<<**

 

"Segs has problems. Like, serious mental health issues," Bozie complained to Phil. Phil just shrugged.

"Could be fun."

Bozie just grumbled something nonsensical and started throwing clothes on the bed. Phil made an attempt to fold Bozie's clothes and pack them into a bag.

"Explain to me again why I can’t come?"

Bozie cringed. He hated the way Phil sounded when he said that, like he was disappointed and felt betrayed.

"Segs said 'Tylers only.' I told you he has issues."

Phil hummed in reluctant agreement.

"I'll call you. Promise."

Phil nodded. He trusted Bozie, and Bozie loved that. He smiled, then ran down the hallway, leaving Phil scratching his head. He returned in a few minutes with two coffees and a kiss for Phil. He zipped up his bag and threw it over his shoulder, doing a quick check. Phone, wallet, iPod. Check.

"Thanks for your help, babe. Seeya soon."

Phil threw his arms around Bozie, holding him for a moment. Bozie smiled, stroking Phil's hair.

"You'll still have Stella. I'll be back in no time."

Phil let him go, trying to wipe away his tears. Bozie wiped Phil's cheeks with his thumb. He turned around and left the room, meeting Segs in the kitchen. Well, Segs' ass, sticking out of the fridge. He was holding three Buds.

"For the road!"

Bozie swiped the Buds, frowning. "I don’t think that's legal."

Segs pouted. "Come on, man. We have an Esky."

Bozie sighed. This was going to be a long road trip.


	2. An Abundance of Tylers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Tylers more Tylers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making shit up because I don't know where they live and I don't know Ontario that well so bear with me.  
> Also I completely made up Biggsy's personality.

 Segs was talking loudly over the static on the radio. "So, I wanted this to be like, y'know, a Tyler Party. Tyler Trip. So I was searching the NHL site for Tylers, convenient eh? There are SEVENTY-NINE. Which ones do I text?"

Bozie didn't really care. He sat with his head against the window, not noticing what was outside. He was thinking about Phil's face when he left.

Segs turned around to look back at Bozie, an arm over the back of the chair. "Aww, Bozie's pining. Come on, liven up, boy!"

"Hey, Segs. Is it narcissistic to date someone with the same name as you?"

Segs went quiet. Brownie's grip tightened on the wheel.

"Like, what do you call him when you fuck?"

Brownie's eyebrows furrowed. Segs frowned. "Mind your business, Bozie. You're just jealous I have my boy and you don’t." Segs faced the front again, putting a hand on Brownie's thigh.

The RV had gone quiet, besides the static. Brownie coughed awkwardly. "Okay then. So. Which other Tylers are we bringing?"

Bozie looked up. "We got a little prospect called Tyler Biggs, can we bring him? Like an orientation. I heard he can drink."

Segs grinned at him in the rear-view mirror. "I like guys that can drink."

Bozie took a moment to wonder at how quickly Segs could go from glaring to smiling (even if it was about alcohol). That was one of the reasons he didn't just delete the jerk from his life. "Then why are you with Brownie?" Bozie teased.

"Because I need to look after him, he can't hold alcohol. Imagine if he was left all alone, drunk," Segs answered, a hand over his heart jokingly, like the thought pained him. Bozie suspected that it seriously did.

Brownie silenced them both. "Kay guys, I'm sick of being the brunt of your jokes. Where are we going to get Biggsy?"

Bozie pulled out his phone. "I'm gonna give the poor kid some notice, unlike you guys just showing up at my door with a fucking RV. How the hell do you even get one of these?"

Segs just shrugged. Unhelpful idiot. "I'm a hockey player." Like that meant anything. Other than girls (if he wanted them) and money, of course.

Tyler hit the call button. "Hey, Biggsy!"

"Uh, who is this?" came the nervous reply.

Tyler laughed. "It's the other Tyler, the Bozak one."

"Oh, okay. Why are you calling me?" Biggsy only sounded slightly reassured.

"Well, I thought we could do some Tyler bonding. You know, like an orientation." Bozie was doing his best to try not to sound like an old creep who had this kid's number. Was twenty-seven old when you're like twenty?

"I thought that was what training camp's for."

Tyler laughed again. "No, that's when you get to know everyone. We have a special Tyler thing happening right now. Do you wanna come or not?"

"Yeah, okay," Biggsy responded.

"Pack your bags, we'll be at your house soon."

"My _bags_? What kind of orientation _is_ this?"

"A Tyler one!" With that, Bozie hung up. "Okay Segs, I can see why you're always cryptic. Leaving that kid hanging is literally one of the greatest things."

Segs grinned his 'victory' grin. Tyler couldn't believe he let Segs have that one. Ego boosts were _not_ a good idea.

"So, do we know any other Tylers?" Bozie questioned.

"Well, we _know_ Tylers. Are they any fun, is the question." Of course, that was all Segs was worried about.

"Guys," came the panicked yelp from Brownie. "Where the hell does this kid live?"

Tyler smiled and directed Brownie to Biggsy's house. This could turn out to be fun.

 

Biggsy seemed surprisingly calm with the fact that there was a big RV in his driveway. Bozie went and grabbed his luggage and put it with the rest of their shit. _Wow, how much shit does this kid need?_ Bozie wondered. The bag was heavy. Like, Bozie was a hockey player and this bag was heavy for him. Bozie shot a questioning look at Biggsy. Biggsy just grinned. _This kid's nuts.This trip just keeps getting better and better._

Segs flailed out of the passenger side and scrambled over to Biggsy, clapping him on the back. "I heard you can drink, buddy!"

Biggsy grinned, fistbumping Segs. "Sure can."  
Segs threw an arm around Biggsy's shoulders. "We are gonna get along juuust fine."

Bozie groaned again. Segs did _not_ need a mini-me.

Segs tugged on Biggsy. "Come on then, ready to go?"

Biggsy nodded, then released himself from Segs' grip. "I just gotta go say goodbye." He ran to the front door and, oh wow, those were his _parents_. He's so young, Bozie thought. They packed themselves back into the RV, Biggsy next to Bozie in the back. Biggsy was talking a million miles a minute. The energy of youth.

"So, you're Tyler, and you're Tyler, and he's Tyler, and I'm Tyler. Wow. This is like, the Tylermobile."

Brownie sat in the driver's seat. He poked Segs. "Any more Tylers? How many are we bringing?"

"Well, I have another bro-"

"You have a lot of bros," Bozie interrupted.

"Shut UP, BRO-zie," Segs retorted, abusing the nickname (which no-one had actually approved). "I'm like, the pimp of the NHL."

Bozie made a choking sound. "I am _so_ not one of your bitches."

Biggsy opened his mouth. Bozie turned on him, pointing. "No. Neither are you." Biggsy's mouth snapped shut.

"Right. Bozie. Shut up. I have another Tyler bro, Kennedy from San Jose." Without asking anyone, Segs promptly texted Kennedy.

Bozie had a sudden realisation. That guy wore number 81. He had a pang of pain as he thought about Phil, home alone.

Segs mumbled something to Brownie, lips close to his ear. Bozie saw how close they were, and his longing doubled. Brownie spoke up. "The next Tyler is a while away, he's in Ottawa for some stupid reason. Currently we're in Durham. Who's hungry?"

Bozie, now that he thought about it, was _very_ hungry. All he had had was coffee. He looked over at Biggsy. The kid nodded, he was hungry too. Brownie drove them to the nearest KFC ('because McDonald's is shit') and, yep. That was the drive through lane. That they were going through. The look on the employee's face was hysterical.

Brownie got fed by Segs while he drove, getting a greasy mouth that Segs didn't hesitate to lick.

Biggsy ended up with grease in his _eyebrows,_ courtesy of Bozie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How far /is/ Ottawa from Durham?


	3. Tyler Influx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First night together. Will they survive???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. Makin' it up as we go.

When they arrived in Ottawa, four hours later, the Tylers were crashing. It had been a long trip and a long day, and even Brownie was about to fall asleep at the wheel. It was a relief when they arrived at TK's house. As soon as they stopped, Brownie slumped over the steering wheel, resting his head on his folded arms. Segs smiled at him softly, rubbing one of his shoulder blades. Brownie lifted his head, blinking sleepily and looking at Segs. Bozie peeled his face off the window and shook Biggsy awake. Biggsy yawned and stretched, rubbing his face. They piled out, all four of them banging on the front door. A pretty girl with curly red hair opened the door, looking at the four of them with horror. She promptly closed the door on them.

"Your fault," Bozie said lazily to Segs. "If you weren't so ugly people might be able to talk to us."

Brownie frowned at Bozie. The door was opened again, this time by TK. He smiled and pulled Segs into a bro hug, clapping him heartily on the back. "Been a while! Where we off to?"

Segs grinned. "Where the hell ever, man. It's a Tyler Trip!"

TK loaded his bags into the Tylermobile.

"Hey guys, don’t mean to be a killjoy but can we _please_ find somewhere to stop? I'm done," Brownie yawned, resting his head on Segs' shoulder.

"Yeah, there's a place about half an hour from here where we can pack up for the night," TK offered.

"I'll drive, kay baby?" Segs said softly, wrapping an arm around Brownie. Brownie closed his eyes and nodded.

Bozie was terrified for his life. "Shit, no. No you're not. Anyone but you."

TK placed a hand on Bozie's shoulder. "Relax, buddy. It's only half an hour. Would you rather the sleeping one?"

Bozie almost said yes. They piled into the RV.

"Hope you Leafs don’t mind sharing a room," Segs said.

Biggsy shrugged, looking at Bozie. "I don't mind if he doesn't."

Bozie punched him playfully on the shoulder. "Good. Better get used to it, kid, because rookies get to share hotel rooms on _all_ the road trips."

Biggsy scowled, a face that looked a scary amount like Segs' scowl. Bozie was a little freaked. "Stop that. Now. That face." He stuck his hands over Biggsy's face and pretended to rearrange his features. When Bozie removed his hands, Biggsy was still scowling, but he was trying too hard not to laugh. Bozie smiled at him. He had the feeling he was going to get really familiar with this kid.

 

**> >=<<**

 

They arrived at the hotel and went to check in. "Reservations for 'Tyler?'" Segs asked the receptionist. The other four held back giggles. The receptionist didn't see the humour. She handed them three keys with room numbers. They unloaded their shit into their rooms and went down for food. They were greeted with the sight of tables upon tables of food, glorious food. Needless to say, they returned (rolled) to their rooms well stuffed and happy Tylers.

 

Bozie drew a line down the middle of the bed. "Your side, my side," he said, looking at Biggsy.

"Come on, man. How old _are_ you?" Biggsy laughed.

Bozie cocked an eyebrow. Biggsy just laughed harder. Okay, maybe that only worked on Phil. Bozie tried just glaring, then left to get his boxers on and tried to crawl into bed. Biggsy was already sprawled across the whole King sized mattress. _Fucking Segs, couldn’t even get separate beds._ He folded Biggsy's limbs up and rolled him over so that he occupied less space and crawled under the sheets. He was suddenly hit by how tired he was. He reached over to the bedside table where his phone was and texted Phil. 'Goodnight <3.' The response was almost immediate, just a '(:' but Bozie sighed happily, laughing affectionately at how Phil did smileys backwards. Biggsy's hand slapped his shoulder.

"Shut up. Text your girlfriend sometime other than when I'm trying to sleep."

Bozie just smiled. _Girlfriend._ He had to tell Phil about that one.

 

Bozie woke up to snoring close to his ear, Biggsy plastered across his back and drooling on his shoulder. _Gross._ Bozie shrugged him off, ignoring his little squeak of protest. Bozie stumbled to the bathroom, absently scratching at the hairs on his stomach. He was confronted by a monster in the mirror. Wow, he was attractive when he woke up. Bedhead, sleepy eyes and breath that probably smelled even worse than it tasted. He scrubbed at his eyes, yawning. He groped for his toothbrush and got to work mintifying his mouth. Biggsy silently joined him, looking as bad as Bozie.

"Sorry for drooling on you," he said through a mouthful of toothbrush. Bozie just shrugged.

"Used to it. I have a dog and a cuddly boyfriend." Bozie smiled fondly at the thought of Phil. "Guess which one drools more."

Biggsy laughed then went quiet, eyes wide.

"Anyway, I wiped it on your shirt, so we're even. Biggsy?"

"Is it Phil? The guy you live with?"

Bozie looked over at Biggsy. He nodded slightly.

"Oh," Biggsy said softly.

They finished brushing their teeth together in silence.

 

Breakfast was amazing. There were trays laden with every type of breakfast food Bozie could imagine. He piled his plate with waffles and drowned them in maple syrup. Segs knew how to choose hotels. The group met up in Segs and Brownie's room after breakfast to discuss where they were going next. Brownie spoke up from his spot on Segs' lap. "I think we should stay in Ontario."

TK nodded. "That's clever, because who knows how long we could be gone. If something happens at least we're somewhat close to home."

Segs smiled proudly at Brownie. _At least one of them is smart,_ Bozie thought.

"So, shall we keep going north?" he asked the group in general.

"Yeah, we can keep going along the Trans-Canada and just stop and do shit where we want to," Brownie offered.

The group looked around, nodding at each other. So it was decided. They were going to wing it. Sounded like an effective plan to Bozie. Not. They each went back to their own rooms to pack up their stuff and returned to the RV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the hell have I gotten myself into? I don't know Ontario! Anyone willing to help with road trip ideas will get a thing.  
> No seriously message me on Tumblr noflowzakbozak with ideas.


	4. Travellin' Tylers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tylers clash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh wow finally. That update took a while.

Segs stuck his phone in Brownie's face. "I wanna go here."

Brownie scrunched his face up, dodging the phone. "Trying to drive, here."

"We're sitting in a parking lot. I wanna go to Rainbow Falls," Segs whined. He turned around and showed the other Tylers the phone. The screen was black. Bozie laughed a little.

"You might want to actually _show_ us a photo," he said, turning the phone around to show Segs.

"Oh, shit. Right," he said, unlocking the phone. "Look! Its name's almost as gay as you, Bozie!"

"Shut up, hypocrite." Bozie still missed Phil.

"Aww, poor baby," Segs teased, doing the kissy lips. Bozie mimed vomiting.

"I know how to get to Rainbow Falls," Brownie put in. "My family went there once to camp. It's a while away, so we'll have to-"

"Baby, no-one cares. Just drive us there," Segs interrupted.

"How long does it take?" PK asked from the back seat.

"About 14-16 hours, from what I remember," Brownie answered.

"Shit," came the soft, simultaneous reaction from Biggsy and Bozie.

"Well? Not gonna get there sitting in this carpark. Drive, boy!" Segs ordered. Brownie pointedly ignored him, looking back at the rest of them.

"Ready to settle in?"

Bozie pulled his iPod Classic from his pocket. "There's some road trip music on there," he said, handing it to Brownie. Segs snatched it away and began scrolling through the songs as Brownie pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, much to Segs' delight.

"That thing's older than Jaromir Jagr!" Biggsy laughed.

"The funny thing is, it's probably older than you, rookie," Bozie chirped.

"Hey, Bozie," Segs said loudly. "You have _shit_ taste."

"Michael Jackson is a great and talented musician!" Bozie defended.

"Yeah," Segs responded. "And so are Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. You a hockey player or a teenage fangirl?"

"Shut up," Bozie mumbled, swiping his iPod back. "You find something better then."

"Easy," TK interjected, handing Segs his phone. Segs scrolled through the songs, passing his divine judgement upon TK's music library.

"Fives all round, brother!" Clearly Segs approved, as he hi-fived TK and plugged the phone into the stereo. After some fiddling and much swearing on Segs' behalf, the fuzz turned into Nirvana. TK smiled and started to air drum the intro to Smells Like Teen Spirit as Segs did the guitar bit. Bozie grumbled and leaned his head against the window, looking out at the houses rushing past.

"Wow, this music is the shit," Biggsy said in awe. "Who is this?" TK and Segs slowly turned to stare at him, mouths open in shock. Biggsy looked like a slapped puppy. Segs just shook his head and turned around to continue his perfect air rendition of the guitar solo, complete with sound effects. Brownie waited for the last guitar bit to fade out, then cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak. Segs pressed a finger to his lips.

"Are we there yet?" he asked seriously. Brownie shook his head. "Okay, continue."

"We're not going to be there for a while, so I need one of you to find somewhere to stay in Sault Ste. Marie for the night."

Segs nodded, sticking his hand in Brownie's pocket, pulling out his phone and doing some intense Googling. Bozie noticed how his tongue stuck out the side of his mouth when he was concentrating. _That thing just can't stay in his mouth, can it?_

"Uhhh," Segs said nervously, looking up from the phone. Brownie looked at him suspiciously.

"What did you do to my phone?" he asked darkly, a million threats in his voice.

"I didn't do anything! We just don't have internet out here. I swear!"

Brownie squinted at him, then nodded. "That's okay, we're sure to get some. We have like eight hours left."

Segs' face was a picture.  Of horror. "Eight- what the fuck?"

Brownie just shrugged, mumbling something like 'maybe you should listen to me more.'

On the radio, Nirvana had become Pearl Jam, to Biggsy's enjoyment. Apparently, there was 'a whole world of music that I didn't even know about and wow I've been missing out.' That earned him more stares and a bitch slap from Segs.

 

"Wow," Bozie said softly into the window. Segs had been handing around Bozie's Buds (to Brownie's displeasure); apparently, he had taken a lot more than three. Whatever, it got Bozie through the eight hours of chaotic noise (the music had become progressively heavier and louder, until they had Segs screaming his way through some satanic sounding shit called 'Alice in Chains'), way too much man and not nearly enough personal space. Biggsy was making a habit of smushing his face into Bozie's shoulder at about the two-hour point of a drive. Bozie had spent about seven hours looking out the window and watching the country change in front of him. As a result, he was the first to notice Sault Ste. Marie. "It's so pretty, look Biggsy," he said softly, tugging on Biggsy, who was whispering 'Come As You Are' into his shoulder. Biggsy slowly lifted his head off Bozie's shoulder, looking out the window, giggling. _Kid's fucking smashed. So am I, probably._ How the hell? This was an RV, they weren't even in a bar or at a party! Bozie wound down the window, sticking his head out and yelling, "Hey, Sault Ste. Marie! Prepare yourself for the Abundance of Tylers!"

Segs followed Bozie's lead. "Look who's deciding to be fun," he said approvingly, before winding his window down and sticking most of his torso out of it. Brownie tugged on the neck of Segs' shirt, pulling him back inside. Segs made a pouty face.

Brownie just shook his head. "If you had fallen out then, I wouldn’t have stopped for you," he scolded.

"You know you would have," Segs teased. "You'd miss my dick too much."

"And on that note…" Bozie muttered as he wrapped his hands around Segs' mouth, getting a handful of tongue for his troubles. Biggsy was still fucking giggling, like this whole scenario, this whole _city_ , was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

"So, Segs. Where are we staying?" Brownie asked sarcastically, like he didn't expect Segs to have found anything yet. Segs looked at his lap, twisting his fingers together like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar, and mumbled something about 'no internet.'

"I didn't think so," Brownie said, half stern, half fond. "TK, can you please just…" he trailed off.

"On it," TK said, taking the phone from Segs. Apparently TK held his alcohol well, he seemed mostly sober to Bozie. Then again, Bozie wasn't exactly in a good frame of mind to be judging how drunk someone was.

 

They unloaded in their next hotel room. Well, they tried to. Bozie decided it was too much effort and just crashed face-first into a bed. _Two beds!_ TK would be choosing hotels from now on. Bozie flopped over and pulled his shirt off, stretching his arms up over his head, enjoying the whole bed he had to himself. Until Biggsy fucking _sat_ on his _stomach_. "What the-" Bozie managed to choke out, before Biggsy was tickling his ribs, giggling the whole time. Bozie tried to stretch away from his tormenter, reaching for his phone.

"Looking for this?" Biggsy laughed, holding Bozie's phone up high.

"I will knee you in the fucking balls if you…" Bozie threatened. Biggsy faked a scared look, but he put the phone on Bozie's chest and got off. Win. He called TK. "How do you feel about having a roommate?"

Biggsy made puppy eyes at Bozie from the other bed. Bozie glared. Biggsy stuck his tongue out. So did Bozie.

"Seriously, the situation in here is...not a good situation."

"Sorry, man. I only have one bed."

Bozie hung up. "Fucking TK!" he cursed, putting the phone back on his chest. "Condemning me to a life with…" Biggsy made the sad puppy eyes at Bozie again. "I don't even…no. Don’t be a tool. Touching Bozie is a no-no."

Biggsy nodded, like he fully understood. Bozie doubted that would last long. Whatever. He sat up quickly, struck by a thought. _Phil!_ He looked around for where the phone had gotten to. It had slid down his chest into his crotch. Lovely. He picked up the phone, almost dropping it a couple of times in his haste. He missed the 'swipe to unlock' twice before he managed to call Phil.

"Hello?" he heard.

A stupid grin plastered itself to Bozie's face. "Hey."

Biggsy groaned in exasperation, sticking his head under his pillow. Bozie didn’t care.

"What's up? Where are you guys?" Phil asked.

"Umm...Sault Ste. Marie. 'S pretty. Staying by the water. What time is it back home?"

"Same time as you, buddy," Phil laughed. "Not that far away."

"They've condemned me to living with Biggsy. He drools and takes up too much space and tickles me. And Segs is just an all round idiot. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Tyler. So does Stella."

Bozie heard woofing. "Ugh you know what else? I haven't been called by my name since we left. It's 'Bozie this' and 'Bozie that.' It's really strange."

Bozie heard pounding on the door and Segs yelling to be let in. "I, uh, have a Seguin at my door. Gotta go, sorry."

"Okay," Phil said sadly. "Bye Tyler. Nice talking to you."

"You too." Bozie put his phone on the bedside table just in time to have a large Segs land basically on top of him. "I swear to god, Biggsy. He's like a dog, you don’t just let him in-" Bozie started to say, but was cut off by Segs, clambering off him.

"They have room service!" Segs exclaimed.

Biggsy was excited by the prospect of room service.

"Most hotels have room service. Get off my bed," Bozie said, irritated, as Brownie plonked down on the other side of him. "I don't want to be in the middle of this," Bozie sighed.

"Get me room service," Segs ordered. Bozie looked at him incredulously.

"I'm not your bitch to be ordered around."

"Can we please just get food? Some of us are hungry," TK said from Biggsy's bed. When the hell did he get there? Party with the Leafs. Biggsy was nodding away next to him. Bozie sighed and picked up the room's attached phone. The Tylers started attacking him with orders before he had even dialled.

"Uh, hi," he said, overwhelmed, into the receiver. "Can I get...three pizzas, one chicken finger, two meatloaf dinners, six large French fries, some sausages, five lobsters with lots of ketchup, chicken corn dogs, Canadian bacon, six Pepsis with no sugar, um...that's it. For Tyler. Room 19. Thanks."

 

There was a knock at the door, accompanied by a loud, 'Room Service!' Bozie opened the door to a tray laden with food. "For Tyler?" the man asked.

"Shouldn't have said that," Bozie warned quietly as four voices yelled, "That's me!" and ambushed the poor room service man.

 

They managed to demolish the food, trashing Bozie and Biggsy's room in the process, in about half an hour. The others then evacuated, leaving Bozie to deal with a trashed bed alone. Somehow, all the food managed to stay on Bozie's bed and away from Biggsy's, who was snoring away happily already. Bozie shook his sheets out and crawled into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sure where this is going.


	5. Tyler Tourists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has actually been sitting in my folders for freakin ages, I finally decided to pick it up and dust it off.

The shared thought amongst the Tylers was that the day would be better spent in Sault Ste. Marie. The hotel rooms were nice, they had good food and plenty of money, and they had all had enough driving for a while.

 

Casually, they strolled around Downtown Sault Ste. Marie, looking in shops and not buying anything. Bozie wondered at what they must look like, a group of large men, shopping like a bunch of girls. Segs was moaning and groaning about having to keep his hands off of Brownie because they were in public. Bozie was just glad none of them had been recognised yet.

 

They left a gun shop that they had only entered because Segs had thought it'd be cool. It had been up to a vote, and Segs won 3-2 because he apparently had a Team Seguin voting with him, consisting of Biggsy who was becoming a mini Segs, and Brownie who wouldn't say no to him. None of them knew what to do next, so they stood on the sidewalk like a pack of stunned sheep, all looking at each other, waiting for another to say where they were going.

TK spoke up. "I don’t know about you guys, but I'm hungry now."

Bozie nodded. "We passed some restaurants, do you wanna go back and find somewhere for lunch?"

Everyone nodded.

 

They had another vote and ended up in a restaurant of Segs' choosing, the 'Hard Wok Café,' which won solely by virtue of the name. Over their meals, they had a discussion about where to go next.

"How about the bay?" Biggsy suggested.

"Yey-ahhh," Segs agreed happily. "Shirts off!"

Bozie rolled his eyes. But the bay _did_ sound fun. And it was walking distance from where they were.

 

Bozie noticed how Segs and Brownie shared their meal. He missed Phil. He missed sharing pizzas, sitting on the couch and watching movies or playing games. He even missed the constant ribbing. He could hear Phil, 'you got lit up already!' He only noticed himself retreating inward when Biggsy elbowed him, asking "You still with us?" He looked up at Biggsy. "Are you gonna eat that?" Biggsy asked, indicating Bozie's noodles. "We can swap, cause I don’t like mine." Bozie realised he had stopped eating. He pushed his noodles towards Biggsy. Biggsy smiled at him broadly. Bozie wanted to cry. He always went halvsies in meals with Phil. Segs feigned hurt, holding a hand over his chest.

"You didn’t like my choice of food? I'm wounded, boys. Wounded."

Bozie honestly couldn't give two fucks how Segs was feeling. The little fuckass, dragging him along on this trip against his will, stealing his beer, taking him away from his Phil, making him get drooled on by a rookie, judging his music collection. Taking him away from his Phil. Bozie noticed he was glaring at Segs, and willed himself to stop. TK must have noticed something, because he cleared his throat, saying, "If we're all done, maybe we could go to the bay now? Segs, how about you and Brownie go pay." Bozie silently thanked TK, master of tact and diffusing situations.

"What's up with you, man?" Biggsy asked Bozie quietly, putting a hand on his arm. Bozie pulled his arm away with more vehemence than he intended.

"Miss Phil," was all he said. Biggsy nodded silently. Bozie appreciated that he didn’t ask too many questions, just accepted things for what they were. Maybe he wasn’t so much of a mini Segs, after all.

 

**> >=<<**

 

Bozie managed to relax a little at the bay. The water, the soothing waves, had a calming effect on him. And he couldn’t stay mad at Segs, not with how hard he was trying to help everyone have a good time. That was Segs, in a nutshell. Focussed on everyone enjoying themselves. Particularly himself. Shirts off, getting splashed with water, everyone laughing and having a good time, it was difficult not to enjoy the beach. They stayed there for longer than any of them knew. It's difficult to tell time at the beach. Lying on the sand, drying off, eating fish and chips and enjoying the beauty of the sun on the horizon. Bozie didn’t even get too upset at seeing Segs feed Brownie chips. Bozie sighed a happy sigh. He really loved the beach.

 

He called Phil again that night when they returned to the hotel room, telling him about the beach and the noodles, the gun shop, the way Segs was corrupting _his rookie._ And anyway, his harem was pretty full. Phil laughed and 'aww'ed in all the appropriate places. Biggsy didn’t whine too much about Bozie's 'girlfriend.'

Yeah, he still called Phil that.

 

Bozie slept well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Still confused about direction :(


End file.
